Tastes like chicken

We've all had a lot of fun with that phrase, haven't we? I first heard it in connection with frogs legs (which I've had, once or twice). I was very young, and my mom said "Yeah, they taste just like chicken." At that age, I didn't know that was a standard joke for something that really had no flavor. It was bland, nondescript: like chicken.

Well, if chicken is well raised and well cared for after it becomes "chicken" as a food, it shouldn't taste bland. It should taste, well, like chicken. And nothing else should taste like it. I wish that, these days, we would say something like "Tastes like tofu" if all the food has is texture (Now I KNOW that the vegetarian contingent is going to come after me for that. Be kind. I'm vulnerable this time of year).

What provoked these thoughts about "tastes like chicken" is a dish that I made , several years ago, to save money. I didn't think that anyone would like it, and it in fact turned out to be more popular than the original dish.

There is a Northern Italian dish that I have heard called "vitello val d'aostana." Val d'aosta is about as far northwest in Italy as you can get, and some say it's really France. My skiing friends have been there, and love it. The cuisine is "interesting. " There's a lot of rye bread, there's a lot of hearty soups, and there's a coffee drink that is supposed to be quite vile, of very hot, very strong coffee with hot brandy in it, and no sugar. You drink it from a large pot with different "straw" type things coming out.

Doesn't appeal to me. Oh well. If you have ever eaten "fontina" cheese - the ITALIAN variety, not the Danish one, you're eating food of val d'aosta. (the Danish variety, by the way, has a red rind, and I think it's awful. The Italian one has a brown rind. As it ages, it , ahem, smells. The smell doesn't carry over to the taste, which is very delicate and sweet).

I have never found out if this dish is, in fact, authentically Italian. I have my doubts. But it's good. And for some people, the chicken version is even better. So I'll present it both ways. (I have already written about the issue of animal cruelty and veal, by the way, and I refer you back to that. Keep in mind that chickens are raised cruelly too. Don't pick one or the other on that basis. Check out your sources, and then make a choice based on your budget and your like or dislike, because , of course, veal is wickedly expensive).

You need two pounds of cutlets, thin ones. For veal, this will set you back about 40 bucks. For chicken, less. In any event, this is not a dish for a "basic dinner". Save it for something special. If the butcher did not do the meat nice and thin (more likely with the chicken than the veal), do one of two things. Either slice each cutlet horizontally down the middle (not so easy to do), or get out that plastic and a meat pounder and pound your meat.

Now, you will want to coat it. For my carb loathing friend Caz, I will say you don't HAVE to coat it with anything. It WILL work, but classically, you use a breading. You dip the cutlets into something like beaten whole eggs, or whole eggs and milk, or just milk. How much? Wish I could tell you. Just have plenty ready because you'll need more than you think, and replenish it as you use it up. After you've dunked them in the liquid, dip them in some salted, seasoned bread crumbs to coat them. Your fingers will get all gunked up, so have a rag ready to keep them cleaned. When you've coated them, traditionally, you fry them lightly, in a mixture of half oil and half butter, but you don't have to finish the cooking. You'll do that in the oven. You could also dispense with this step and take out some calories in what is a very rich filling dish.

Get a big, say, 9x13 inch baking dish ready. Butter it. Lay down a layer of the cutlets, be they fried or not. Now, have some GOOD quality (that means imported) prosciutto ready. Cover that layer of cutlets with the ham. NOW, slice some fontina as thinly as possible and cover the prosciutto with this. Freezing the cheese for fifteen minutes before you slice it will help here. You're probably going to need about a pound of cheese in total, and six ounces of prosciutto.

Then, cover the cheese with another layer of cutlets, another layer of prosciutto, and then cheese. Get a crane to help you lift this monster dish into the oven and bake it at 400 for about twenty minutes. Now, crank up the broiler and heat the dish for five minutes or so, or just until the cheese is browning. Fontina melts beautifully and it will have melted quickly. Take it out and let it sit for ten minutes or so before serving this.

Yes, this is certainly a complete meal, isn't it? What I would serve with it is something like grilled radicchio, or some other bitter green. For a starter, while I would LOVE to suggest pasta, I think it's too much. This is probably the time to pull out the minestrone recipe that was my first entry on the blog, and start with that.

The holidays are coming up. Sometimes, you need something more than a turkey. You should try this one. Or if you have a special occasion coming up, like a birthday, or an anniversary, or you're just having a bunch of friends over, try this. Just make sure that the meat you buy is "valid," i.e., that you've checked out your source and you can say, honestly, that the animals were not mistreated.

You'll thank me for this one. I promise.

To come: A Puerto Rican dish that is over the top good, and another one that will make you worship at Annalena's feet.