"The secret recipe"

Every cook acquires a reputation for certain recipes over his or her lifetime. "So and so makes the best chicken," or "You MUST taste so and so's chocolate cake," and whatnot. As a cook who can point to several items that people ask for, all the time (lately, people want the meatballs, as fast as I can roll them, and my newly discovered banana pudding recipe has acolytes coming out of the corners), I can say that it's flattering. BUT... I can also say that it's a bit of a hassle. EVERYBODY wants these dishes, over and over again. If you dont' make them, someone wonders "are you ok," or "don't you like me?" Well, keep on asking for these things and I'll reconsider my position ....

Seriously, I make it out to be more of a hassle than it is, but you just wonder. I cook with a lot of seasonal, natural, hopefully organic ingredients. But one of the Christmas treats that everyone wants is "white trash fudge." It's got canned, salted nuts, marshmallows, chocolate chips and other things in it that just make me wince. But if I made ten pounds of it, it wouldn't be enough.

I'm going to give you one of those recipes today, thinking about my new friend Anthony.
Anthony is one of those people who, when you first meet them you think "I have GOT to know this guy better." That's what I thought, and then, like most people, I did absolutely NOTHING to get to know this guy better. Anthony, of course, had no idea that I wanted to be better friends, since I didn't say anything, and I waited two months.

So, not too long ago, we had lunch. If you ever wonder what two gay Italian guys talk about when they hang out, rest assured that cooking is one of them. And Anthony was talking about one of his specialties , which is an artichoke dip. Well, I've got one of those too.

Years ago, Guy and I used to stay at a place in San Francisco called "Le Petit Auberge." It was part of a group of hotels called "the Four Sisters Inn," because there were, literally, four sisters running four different hotels. At this one, they would have tea at 4, every day. Rather informal, with tea, sherry, and always a fresh baked sweet and a savory. One of the savories was artichoke dip. Every day we'd ask if artichoke dip was going to be served that afternoon. If it was, we would, literally, plan our day around coming back to the hotel to have tea. It was THAT good.

Eventually, I got the recipe from them. It was in a book of recipes that was available only at the hotel. The book is now long out of print, but I want to give you all the recipe for the artichoke dip. Maybe you'll make it. I hope you do.

This makes great party food, but you know when it's even better? When there's leftovers, and the next day you pile it on bread for a sandwich. I must admit that I shouldn't love this as much as I do, but I do. So THERE. And I usually triple the recipe.

You will need three cans of artichokes. Doesn't much matter whether you use hearts, or bottoms, whatever you have. Drain them, and chop them coarsely. I usually do it these days by dumping them into a food processor and pulsing four or five times, but keep in mind, I'm usually working with 9-12 cans of this stuff.

You also need a half pound or so of Jahrslberg cheese. Grate it on the teardrop portion of a three sided grater (and if it's too soft, put it in the freezer for ten minutes. It's a great trick for grating soft cheese). Finally, you will need 1 cup of mayonnaise. Don't bother with the good homemade stuff but use Hellman's. There's a tang to it that the other brands just don't have. AND DONT USE THE LOW FAT STUFF. If you feel fancy, grate about half a cup of parmesan as well. I never do.

Mix all the stuff up in a bowl and then dump it in a baking dish and bake it at 350 for about twenty minutes, or until it gets bubbly.

You can cover it with slivered almonds for a retro look, but with everyone being allergic to nuts these days, you may want to reconsider that. Serve it warm, with slices of toasted Italian bread, or crackers, and a spoon. Save a big spoon in the kitchen for yourself because you deserve the leftovers.

I make this at New Year's every year. And every year I think of not making it. Then I remember the ONE year I didn't. SIGH. I don't want that kind of hassle ever again.

Enjoy it folks. Double it and have a party.