Pasta with mushroom cream sauce: and thoughts on Paula Deen

Before we plunge into this delicious recipe, ragazzi, Annalena has to comment on something that is bothering her. TRULY bothering her.

We learned, last week, that Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. The comments, almost universally, have been along the lines of "GEE WHIZ. I am NOT surprised." To say they have been cutting, nasty, sarcastic, and mean, would understate the case. And, interestingly, no one can comment on what Ms. Deen eats or does or ate or did, to "deserve" diabetes (and the sense is clearly that she does in fact DESERVE this!!!!), but rather, the comments are directed to her cookbooks, her television shows, etc, which "encourage us" to eat unhealthily.

Annalena is going to switch to all caps. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE? ARE YOU FOIE GRAS GEESE BEING FORCED TO OVEREAT BAD FOOD? If Ms. Deen presents fattening unhealthy food recipes, then you are presented with a choice: you may eat them, or you may choose not to. You may choose to read them as entertainment, or you may decide to eat them every night. This is the reader's call. None of Ms. Deen or her handsome sons are standing over anyone, with a gun, saying "eat that butter stick right now," anymore than anyone is pointing a gun at anyone who finishes a meal at MacDonalds. You know better. You make your choices. The recipe which follows is far from healthy and Annalena does not recommend eating it every night, or even every week. But it IS good food. Enjoy it once in a while.

AND LEAVE THE SOUTHERN LADY ALONE!

Very well, truly unhappy rant over, let us return to the kitchen, for what is unquestionably a rich, rich RICH dish, that is also delicious. It is worth making from time to time. Do try to eat some lean things with it, or to limit how much of it you do eat. It is difficult, Annalena knows. Repent the next day if you must. Balance and reason are everything.

You will need to spend some money and buy a pound of wild mushrooms. Now, it is getting very difficult to distinguish between wild and cultivated mushrooms these days. During the time, when the available mushrooms were white button, and everything else, the distinction was clearer. Portobello mushrooms, cremini mushrooms, etc, are not wild mushrooms. And if you are living in a climate where the ground freezes, any local mushrooms, are not wild mushrooms. Do keep this in mind. You can buy wild mushrooms from other geographies. You may also want to substitute the wild mushrooms with a flavorful, cultivated one. Ask your merchant: s/he will know which one is the strongest tasting, and that is what you should use. But in no event does Annalena counsel mixing different kinds of mushrooms. She finds that such medleys result in the loss of identity of any individual mushroom. So, stick with one kind and, as noted, a pound.

You are going to cook this with twelve ounces of FRESH pasta, and the shape of that pasta is going to determine how you slice the mushrooms. For example, when Annalena made this, she had linguini. Hence, she sliced her mushrooms (chanterelles), into long strips. Were she working with penne, or radiatori, or other, stubby pasta, she would have cut chunks. That is how this works.

You will also want one, small red onion. Cut it in half horizontally, and then cut the halves into half moons, as thin as you can. Finally, you are going to want some salt, some pepper, and equal amounts (three tablespoons each) of olive oil and butter. And, finally.... one cup of heavy cream.

Oh yes, the calories are going to mount up here. Put the oil and butter into a very large frying pan, and when the butter begins to bubble, add the onions, and a pinch of salt. Cook just until they soften, and then add the mushrooms. Add a pinch more salt, and let them sit for a few minutes. Annalena has mentioned before, that if you watch mushrooms cook, you will see how the water begins to leave them. So, ragazzi, when your pan begins to look a little moist, stir the mushrooms up. And then leave them alone again, and you'll watch the liquid disappear.

When that happens, you add the cream. All of it. Stir everything together, at medium low heat. When the cream begins to bubble, let it cook for about three minutes, and then take it off the heat.

Have a big pot of salted water ready, and toss in your fresh pasta. You know the drill: taste it until it feels aldente to you. Then, drain it, toss it into the cream sauce, and return it all to the heat. Stir it together for another two minutes or so. The pasta is going to drink up most of the liquid, and you'll have a very "tight" pasta dish. In fact, you may want to add a few tablespoons of hot water. Then, off the heat, grate in as much parmesan as you like. PLEASE grate it yourself. If you are using the stuff in the green cardboard container, please leave right now.

Dinner. For two, or three, or four. With SALAD please. Maybe some chicken. Maybe some fish.

THis is a lovely, easy thing to do , with items that you will have no trouble finding. Perhaps, if you are in the mood to beat up on Ms. Deen, you can eat this and leave her alone. Even if you are not, make it, and make yourself and some others happy.