Of Guncles, DILFS and the Ballet

From The Urban Dictionary:  DILF:  A dad you'd like to fuck

Also from The Urban Dictionary:  Guncle: A noun used to identify a non-related gay male who is regarded as an "honorary uncle" by his friends and their children. Often used as a term of endearment.



The difference between a DILF and a guncle is  that a DILF is someone you invite out  to dinner, and a guncle is someone who makes dinner for you."


No recipe or story this time, gang.  A bit of a think piece.  A bit of a rant.  A bit of a cry out loud.

In her alternate role, Annalena is regarded as a Guncle by many.  He hears the phrase  "Guncle, I just  wish I could hug you right now."  Yes, often.  He does not hear himself referred to as as a DILF.    Ever.  Annalena supposes that the comments  about "guncle"  "hugging"  etc, are meant to be endearing, and they are sincere.  Not unlike the comments he gets when mother's day comes along, and the "Happy Mother's Day" messages come in.  Cute.  Adorable.
It  truly does seem to be the lot in life for many of us:  yes , "DILF" is all over the place, and we are all familiar with typical  "DILFs."  Indeed, like Guncles, who do not have to be uncles, "DILFS" don't have to be dads.  You all have your favorite:  is it perhaps Anderson Cooper?  Who could blame you?    There is actually a website that lists the 25 top DILFs  .  Look for something similar, for "guncles."  Find any ?
If any of this sounds bitter, ragazzi, that's because it is.  I will not speak of my own experiences directly here:  in other words, I will not call anyone out, or quote anyone, other than the reference to "I just want to give you a hug."   And really, think about it for a minute:  the emphasis, while not stated, is on "JUST," as in  "that's as far as it goes."
Why is that?  I have been thinking about this at great length, since rewatching my favorite version of "The Nutcracker" (there is a link at the end of this piece).  Now, some background:  I did not see "Nutcracker" until I was in my early 30s.  And I was STUNNED.  I thought it had a happy ending.  Really, it does not:  our heroine does not get her prince.  And in the  version I first saw (American Ballet Theatre with Gelsey Kirkland, and Baryshnikov), I was very, VERY creeped out by the very salacious uncle, who clearly had designs on Clara.
The original "Nutcracker" does not use an "uncle."  The character, "Drosselmeyer" , in the original, is the godfather to Clara and her brother.  Today, we think of "godfather" in a very particular way; however, in the time of E.T.A. Hoffmann, who wrote the story, a "godfather" had a very serious, important place in the family.  I think that when we see the ballet now, we immediately jump to the idea that he's an uncle.  A single uncle.  No one ever meets a wife, or girlfriend of this man.  He's always eccentric.  Frequently ugly, or misformed, in older productions ,in the San Francisco ballet production, and more and more in other modern productions,this changes, and   one could argue that he's hot in a punk kind of way:

In this production, as you'll see, he wears an eyepatch.  Again, this is showing up, more and more in modern productions.  This being ballet, we don't know how he got it.  But what we do know, from the early part of the production, is that he's a kind, generous man.  He makes the nutcracker for Clara (the original has him make it for BOTH she and her brother).  He keeps his store (he's a clockmaker), open late, to sell a toy to a last minute shopping mom.  And on the way to the Christmas party (which he attends alone), he buys flowers from a flower girl, and gives them to a Nanny, and two nuns, who are all out walking.  (While the Nutcracker story seems to be French, transported to Germany, this version clearly takes place in England).  At the party, there is no other word to describe it: he's the star.  He entertains the children.  He does magic tricks.  And he does this all, with almost no reference to the adults:  he's there for the children.

And calling Clara one of the children is misleading, for she is clearly between two worlds.  When the adults dance, she's called upon, by her father, to join them in that dance. Unlike the adults, however, she receives Christmas presents.  She sits with the children during the magic show, and she is intrigued in the same way  by the magic, the nutcracker, and every other "childish" thing as the younger children are. Drosselmeyer, as we can see from the production, understands that she walks between two worlds. Indeed, in a somewhat humorous  "a lesbian looks at "The Nutcracker,"  piece,  one writer talks about how the theme of "Nutcracker" is Clara moving from girl to woman.  I agree with this.  The same writer allegorizes "Nutcracker" as Drosselmeyer's goal as being "Clara's first man."  I do NOT agree with this.  In my view, Drosselmeyer, like Clara, walks between two worlds.  In more than one way. He walks between the magic, and the mundane.  He walks between what he is, and what people have to pretend he is, ignoring that side of him.  He walks between showing his understanding of Clara's situation, and ignoring it.   And in this, he is like all of us who know we will always be "guncles," and never "DILFs."  Read on.

Later we learn that, more than a magician, Drosselmeyer is a sorcerer.  After the party ends, and he leaves, he returns to the sleeping Clara, in a huge puff of smoke.  He transforms the house into the scene that we associate with "Nutcracker:"  the huge tree, the battle with the mice, the Prince, and the journey to the Snow World.  And Clara of course is with him.  A sorcerer.  A magician.  A transformer.  To the guncles reading this, sound familiar?  To those with guncles, how about you?

This does not sound like straight behavior, does it?  Drosselmeyer is protective, and what one sees in his character, at least in the SF production, is a totally chaste relationship with Clara.  He knows his place.  Don't all of us who are guncles  "know our place?"   So, while he introduces her to what she CAN have, she HAS NONE  of it.  At the end of the fantasy sequence of "Nutcracker" - and this is the part that ALWAYS bothered me - her cavalier prince goes back to his realm, she wakes up, and she has... a nutcracker.   It parallels her uncle/godfather.  He too, has nothing at the end.  Indeed, compared to Clara, he has less than nothing: in this production, Clara wakes up to her nutcracker, and her mother's embrace.  Drosselmeyer is gone:  he behaves the way a good guncle should.  He's done his job:  he took care of her, and the children.  He's gone.  Until he gets invited back again. Probably to a big party.  Certainly not to an intimate dinner.  Unless he gives one.

If you fill the role of "guncle"  (and you know who you are), you will recognize much of this.  And you may be shaking your head and wondering "what do I do?"  I wish I knew.  If, on the other hand, you HAVE a guncle - and you know who you are too - maybe you need to ask yourself about that relationship, and how your "guncle" or "guncles" feel.  Surely they love you, and nothing is going to change that.  But if you have "guncles" and you also have "DILFs," ask yourself what puts one man in one column, and the other in the other.  And think how it may impact their knowing how you think of them.  I can't speak for how DILFs feel, for the reasons above, but I'm sure someone out there will react and say  "I wish someone treated me as their guncle."  Maybe not.  But this is a work in progress.    I'm not ready to say  "don't call me "guncle anymore," but do think about it.  It does hurt sometime.  

And here's the ballet. It's worth seeing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9eUYZBo66A

Of Guncles, and Ballet

From The Urban Dictionary:  DILF:  A dad you'd like to fuck

Also from The Urban Dictionary:  Guncle: A noun used to identify a non-related gay male who is regarded as an "honorary uncle" by his friends and their children. Often used as a term of endearment.

The difference between a DILF and a guncle is  that a DILF is someone you invite out  to dinner, and a guncle is someone who makes dinner for you." 

No recipe or story this time, gang.  A bit of a think piece.  A bit of a rant.  A bit of a cry out loud.

In her alternate role, Annalena is regarded as a Guncle by many.  He hears the phrase  "Guncle, I just  wish I could hug you right now."  Yes, often.  He does not hear himself referred to as as a DILF.    Ever.  Annalena supposes that the comments  about "guncle"  "hugging"  etc, are meant to be endearing, and they are sincere.  Not unlike the comments he gets when mother's day comes along, and the "Happy Mother's Day" messages come in.  Cute.  Adorable.  

It  truly does seem to be the lot in life for many of us:  yes , "DILF" is all over the place, and we are all familiar with typical  "DILFs."  Indeed, like Guncles, who do not have to be uncles, "DILFS" don't have to be dads.  You all have your favorite:  is it perhaps Anderson Cooper?  Who could blame you?    There is actually a website that lists the 25 top DILFs  .  Look for something similar, for "guncles."  Find any ?  

If any of this sounds bitter, ragazzi, that's because it is.  I will not speak of my own experiences directly here:  in other words, I will not call anyone out, or quote anyone, other than the reference to "I just want to give you a hug."   And really, think about it for a minute:  the emphasis, while not stated, is on "JUST," as in  "that's as far as it goes." 

Why is that?  I have been thinking about this at great length, since rewatching my favorite version of "The Nutcracker" (there is a link at the end of this piece).  Now, some background:  I did not see "Nutcracker" until I was in my early 30s.  And I was STUNNED.  I thought it had a happy ending.  Really, it does not:  our heroine does not get her prince.  And in the  version I first saw (American Ballet Theatre with Gelsey Kirkland, and Baryshnikov), I was very, VERY creeped out by the very salacious uncle, who clearly had designs on Clara.  

The original "Nutcracker" does not use an "uncle."  The character, "Drosselmeyer" , in the original, is the godfather to Clara and her brother.  Today, we think of "godfather" in a very particular way; however, in the time of E.T.A. Hoffmann, who wrote the story, a "godfather" had a very serious, important place in the family.  I think that when we see the ballet now, we immediately jump to the idea that he's an uncle.  A single uncle.  No one ever meets a wife, or girlfriend of this man.  He's always eccentric.  Frequently ugly, or misformed, in older productions ,in the San Francisco ballet production, and more and more in other modern productions,this changes, and   one could argue that he's hot in a punk kind of way:  

In this production, as you'll see, he wears an eyepatch.  Again, this is showing up, more and more in modern productions.  This being ballet, we don't know how he got it.  But what we do know, from the early part of the production, is that he's a kind, generous man.  He makes the nutcracker for Clara (the original has him make it for BOTH she and her brother).  He keeps his store (he's a clockmaker), open late, to sell a toy to a last minute shopping mom.  And on the way to the Christmas party (which he attends alone), he buys flowers from a flower girl, and gives them to a Nanny, and two nuns, who are all out walking.  (While the Nutcracker story seems to be French, transported to Germany, this version clearly takes place in England).  At the party, there is no other word to describe it: he's the star.  He entertains the children.  He does magic tricks.  And he does this all, with almost no reference to the adults:  he's there for the children. 

And calling Clara one of the children is misleading, for she is clearly between two worlds.  When the adults dance, she's called upon, by her father, to join them in that dance. Unlike the adults, however, she receives Christmas presents.  She sits with the children during the magic show, and she is intrigued in the same way  by the magic, the nutcracker, and every other "childish" thing as the younger children are. Drosselmeyer, as we can see from the production, understands that she walks between two worlds. Indeed, in a somewhat humorous  "a lesbian looks at "The Nutcracker,"  piece,  one writer talks about how the theme of "Nutcracker" is Clara moving from girl to woman.  I agree with this.  The same writer allegorizes "Nutcracker" as Drosselmeyer's goal as being "Clara's first man."  I do NOT agree with this.  In my view, Drosselmeyer, like Clara, walks between two worlds.  In more than one way. He walks between the magic, and the mundane.  He walks between what he is, and what people have to pretend he is, ignoring that side of him.  He walks between showing his understanding of Clara's situation, and ignoring it.   And in this, he is like all of us who know we will always be "guncles," and never "DILFs."  Read on.

Later we learn that, more than a magician, Drosselmeyer is a sorcerer.  After the party ends, and he leaves, he returns to the sleeping Clara, in a huge puff of smoke.  He transforms the house into the scene that we associate with "Nutcracker:"  the huge tree, the battle with the mice, the Prince, and the journey to the Snow World.  And Clara of course is with him.  A sorcerer.  A magician.  A transformer.  To the guncles reading this, sound familiar?  To those with guncles, how about you?

This does not sound like straight behavior, does it?  Drosselmeyer is protective, and what one sees in his character, at least in the SF production, is a totally chaste relationship with Clara.  He knows his place.  Don't all of us who are guncles  "know our place?"   So, while he introduces her to what she CAN have, she HAS NONE  of it.  At the end of the fantasy sequence of "Nutcracker" - and this is the part that ALWAYS bothered me - her cavalier prince goes back to his realm, she wakes up, and she has... a nutcracker.   It parallels her uncle/godfather.  He too, has nothing at the end.  Indeed, compared to Clara, he has less than nothing: in this production, Clara wakes up to her nutcracker, and her mother's embrace.  Drosselmeyer is gone:  he behaves the way a good guncle should.  He's done his job:  he took care of her, and the children.  He's gone.  Until he gets invited back again. Probably to a big party.  Certainly not to an intimate dinner.  Unless he gives one. 

If you fill the role of "guncle"  (and you know who you are), you will recognize much of this.  And you may be shaking your head and wondering "what do I do?"  I wish I knew.  If, on the other hand, you HAVE a guncle - and you know who you are too - maybe you need to ask yourself about that relationship, and how your "guncle" or "guncles" feel.  Surely they love you, and nothing is going to change that.  But if you have "guncles" and you also have "DILFs," ask yourself what puts one man in one column, and the other in the other.  And think how it may impact their knowing how you think of them.  I can't speak for how DILFs feel, for the reasons above, but I'm sure someone out there will react and say  "I wish someone treated me as their guncle."  Maybe not.  But this is a work in progress.    I'm not ready to say  "don't call me "guncle anymore," but do think about it.  It does hurt sometime.    

And here's the ballet. It's worth seeing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9eUYZBo66A

When life gives you cauliflower, make cauliflower parmagiana

 

Some of you may have noticed that Annalena has been a little obsessed with cauliflower as of late.  She confesses to that.  Apparently, her obsession IS shared, as she saw one article that referred to cauliflower as "the new kale."  Well, Annalena could not be happier about that, since kale is not one of her favorites, by any stretch of the imagination.

There have been periods in Annalena's life when she simply COULD NOT STAND cauliflower, to the point where looking at it would make her ill. Well, clearly that has changed.

Recently, Melissa Clark, one of Annalena's favorite food writers, posted this recipe.  She pointed out that cauliflower is with us through the winter (indeed it is), whereas Annalena's beloved eggplant is going to be gone very soon. So, for those of you who are trying to eat closer to the source, here we go.  Annalena will point out, along the way, where she used local products.  She will also announce, at the start , that this recipe presupposes that you have tomato sauce on hand.  If you do not, why not?  And if you do not, MAKE SOME.  Annalena has given you several recipes on this blog, you can look up Marcella's superb and simple recipe, and you can make it from other recipes as well.  You will need at least a quart, a quart and a half is  better.

First, we start with the cauliflower.  Annalena used her favorite golden cauliflower, but you should fee free to use white, or green.  She is not too sure about the purple one.
Use a BIG one - 3 pounds or so.  Cut it into florets, but not dainty ones:



You are going for something the size of  a small meatball.  Also, because you will be frying, and it is harder to fry something round than it is to fry something flat, and you already have to deal with all the crenulations on the cauliflower,  slice the florets in half as best as you can. 

We now set up Annalena's modified fry station.  Here, we are using the classic formula for parmagiana, of flour, egg, and bread crumbs.  If you are cramped for kitchen space (who isn't), you can avoid the full set up, by putting your cauliflower in a bag, with 1/2 cup of well seasoned unbleached flour.  Half a cup is all you need.  It's much more important that the bag be big enough, and not have a hole in it:

You can put that aside while you beat four large eggs with a little salt in a large plate or bowl, and pour 3 cups of bread crumbs into another one.  Put some salt there.  Have a tray  ready to receive all of the cauliflower as you coat it, and preheat your oven to 400. 

Now, here we go. Shake that cauliflower in that bag.  Take out a few pieces at a time, and dip them in the egg.  Dip them completely.  Then, move them to the breadcrumbs, and roll them to coat.  A pair of kitchen tongs is a big help here, but it is not at all necessary:

Because we have coated these guys with breadcrumbs, we can take a break if we want to.  We will continue here, however.  You need to put about 1/2 cup of oil into a big pan, and here, you can and should use olive oil.  The cauliflower is not going to cook for very long, smoke point will not be an issue, and your dish will taste SO  much better. 

You can tell when the oil  is hot enough to fry, via a very simple test.  Take a kitchen implement with a wooden handle, and turn it upside down in the oil.  Watch for bubbles to form around the wood.  Little tiny ones.  When that happens, it's ready. 

As observed, fry these a few at a time:

If your oil is hot enough, they will brown very quickly, and you should turn them over, and on their side, to get them completely brown:

At a distance, it is very hard NOT to think these are pieces of chicken breast.  But they are not.  

We are now going to assemble the dish. Get a 9x13 non reactive (non metallic) pan, and put about a cup of sauce into it.  Then add 1/3 cup of grated parmesan.  Now add half the cauliflower.  Put about half a pound of small pieces of mozzarella on this, and add more parmesan. 

A very quick digression on the mozzarella here.  It can be mind boggling as to the different kinds of mozzarella there are now.  Annalena used a local mozzarella, made by a farm called Riverine Ranch.  It is buffalo, firm, and not too salty. That is what you want.  This will be the least expensive variety of mozzarella you will find: sometimes called "fior di latte."  Save the burrata and other fancier ones, for salad.  

So you've layered sauce, cauliflower, mozzarella, and parmesan.  Now put down another couple of cups of sauce, and then the rest of the cauliflower.  What you'll find is that the cauliflower sort of "sorts" itself and fills in the spaces.  That's those crenulations gang.  You finish off with  more mozzarella, more sauce, and finish with parmesan. 

Get this into the oven, for forty minutes.  You are going to get something which looks, at least to Annalena, like meatball parmesan (which is American, not Italian):

This certainly looks like something Annalena wants to eat, and it is. She can't wait.    

So if you have your non vegan vegetarian to feed, who doesn't fear the "warning: this cheese contains dairy," you're in business.  

Make it ragazzi.  You will LOVE it. 

Sweeter than you think: chicken with 40 cloves of garlic

Well, ragazzi, to say this has been a week is to understate things.  Let us have a show of hands:  how many of you, when you saw that you were going to be able to sleep for an extra hour today (as daylight savings time ended), thought it wasn't nearly enough?    This political campaign has pushed us all to our limits and then beyond them.  Annalena has been called names on her beloved facebook that she hasn't been called since a schoolchild.  And she learned, last week, that physicians are prescribing medicines for "pre election stress syndrome."  It seems perfectly justified.  Annalena was stood up on a "date" (not really, but a meeting she should not have planned).  And the finale, at least for Annalena, was to see that cheese now bears the warning  :"caution.  Contains dairy products."

We are now at the point where we have to label cheese to warn the lactose intolerant.  Where have we come to, carini?  Annalena is more than flummoxed.

Fortunately, she has a place to hide:  her kitchen. And food blogs, and recipes.  Recenty, she started reading the blog of David Leite  ("Leitesculinaria.com") from which this recipe comes.  He is a marvelous racconteur my lovelies (that does NOT mean he is a raccoon), and his recipes are nice and solid.

Annalena made this one, and she will tell you in all seriousness:  you can make this in a littlemore than an hour, and your work time, is really, really  short.   You should make this.  You really should.

First, as Annalena is doing lately, your ingredients:

What you see there are three pounds of chicken thighs - 13 of them.  You see a bit of wine, a bit of stock, some butter, thyme - and 40 (that's right, 40 ) cloves of garlic.  

Some comments on these ingredients:  why all thighs, and not chicken parts?  Annalena's regular readers can answer this, but to review: think about what a free range chicken does all day:  she walks.   In that respect, she and Annalena have something in common.  The leg muscles get stronger,  and tougher, and more blood vessels form. And that is why we have "dark meat."

Now think of that same chicken's breast, standing out in front of her proudly:  and doing nothing.  The breasts are tender, and white, and if you try to cook them the same way as you cook legs or thighs, you will overcook them. And if you try to cook the thighs and legs the way you cook the breasts, you will undercook them.  So, for uniformity, stick with one style.  Also, that way no one can complain  "No, my favorite part is gone so I'll go hungry."  (In this age of privilege, we have all heard it).

Now, about those 40 cloves of garlic.  In a bulb of garlic, Annalena gets 5-6 cloves.  Hence, she needed 7-8 bulbs.  It is NOT that hard to peel them.  If you use a garlic cannoli;

It is even easier.  If you do not, press on the cloves of garlic gently, with the blade of a large knife, and you will succeed in breaking skin.  Then pop them out (Of course, you COULD also follow the French model  and not peel them.  Annalena will not recommend that. 

You will have salted and peppered your chicken thighs at least an hour before you cook.  And when you do, set your oven  to 350, and get out a non stick pan if you have one.  If you don't, you'll be fine, but don't go too big.  Why?  Because you are cooking with butter, and butter will burn if you give it a surface. 

You are going to add only ONE tablespoon of butter to your pan.  When it melts, fill the pan with the chicken thighs, but do not crowd them.  Probably, you should be doing no more than 5-6 at a time (less, if they are larger). 

Why so little butter?  Well, under that chicken skin is a fair amount of fat.  And as you cook this chicken, you will get more and more fat in the pan, as we will see.  

Sear those thighs for about five minutes on a side, until the skin gets nice and dark:

Before you put them in this pan, turn them and cook for about two minutes. 

Remember Annalena told you about the fat?  Well:

She hopes you can see the half cup of fat that she recovered at the end of cooking the chicken.  That's all the stuff, drained.  

So now, put a fresh tablespoon of butter in that pan, and add your garlic cloves, stirring and tossing, for 2-3 minutes, so as to put some brown on them.  Then, spread them haphazardly, but evenly, on the chicken:

What you will do now, is add 1/3 cup of white wine to your searing pan, to loosen up the brown bits.  Keep stirring.  The wine will evaporate almost immediately.  Then add half a cup of chicken stock, and yet one more tablespoon of butter.  Let this come to a boil, and reduce by about a third.  Pour it over the chicken, and then add a few sprigs of fresh thyme (you could use another herb if you had it). 

At this point, Annalena's recipe caled for slicing up potatoes and cooking them with the chicken.  You could do that, but Annalena preferred not too. Rather, she had a tomato sort of like herself: large, overripe, and giving dirty looks to anyone who passed.  She simply cut that up, and put it over the chicken and garlic, before putting it all in the oven for 45 minutes

You are supposed to eat this garlic, which is very soft and sweet.  Usually, people serve toasted bread and smear the cloves on it.  And if you want to do that, go ahead.  Annalena just picked them up and ate them as they were, but as the adorable deplorables have been telling her all week, she is perverse. 

So, ragazzi, there is our first recipe of the week. There will be more.  Enjoy this one. 

Is it caponata? NO. Is it ratatouille? NO. What is it then? Let's call it a good vegetable dish

Ragazzi, Annalena does not think of herself as a stickler for terminology, although maybe she is.  she does like to know what to expect when she's eating, or reading a recipe.  You know this drill, Annalena has written of it before:  if the recipe says "florentine," there is going to be spinach. WHY?  No one knows.  If it says  "au gratin," there's cheese. And it goes on:  if it says "Chinese style," (oh, what a horrible description), there's soy sauce in it.  You know the type of recipes.

But there ARE specific foods which have specific names.  Ratatouille, for example, means eggplant, squash, and tomatoes to Annalena.  PERIOD.  Caponata means eggplant,  capers, tomatoes,  and sweet and sour.  PERIOD.  Yes, there are other things that could be added, but this is it.  "Cacio e pepe," that wonderful simple yet complex  Italian dish, is fresh ground pepper, and (because no one can find true "cacio" anymore), parmesan.  Nothing else. NO, no butter.  NO, not a mixture of pecorino and parmesan.  NO NO NO.

So, this recipe - which is ridiculously simple and wonderfully rewarding,  was advertised as "caponata ratatouille."

HUH????   Now that is a new one on Annalena.    She had no idea what it meant.  In reading through the recipe, it appears that the author, because of the presence of eggplant/tomatoes and zucchini, (in the original recipe), couldn't make up his mind as to what to call it; however, there is no basil in it (always there in ratatouille), and  there are no capers in it (always there in caponata),  so he just made up a name.

Bad, bad bad.  So we are not going to call it either one , ragazzi, we are just going to call it good, and easy.  And now, we're going to make it. And wait until you see the liberties you have with this one.

First, ANNALENA's ingredients:

She writes "Annalena's ingredients," because these are not exactly what the recipe called for.  Indeed, the recipe called for larger tomatoes, so you could cut them in half, and for summer squash, which Annalena did not have.  She did have a small "honey nut" winter squash (about 1/4 the size of butternut squash), and she had "heirloom cherry" tomatoes, which included 2 large tomatoes and a bunch of small ones.  

Look at those ingredients.  You see fennel, yes?  And red peppers.  and chickpeas.  None of these are seen in either ratouille or caponata.  Peppers are seen in Turkish dishes with eggplant, but  Annalena is unaware of the use of fennel or of chickpeas in any of these dishes.  

NO MATTER CARISSIMI.  Let's make this simple dish.  The quantities are flexible:  a pound of eggplant (Annalena used more), two red peppers, an onion,  two medium sized bulbs of fennel, a pound of tomatoes, a pound of zucchini (Annalena used her winter squash), and five cloves of garlic. You should peel the garlic, but you don't have to, as Annalena will explain beow.  

You also see a couple of cups of cooked chickpeas on the side.  If you must, use canned, but do put these in.  

In the original recipe, there was call for peeling small Japanese eggplants. 

As Annalena's former assistant would say  "Get Bent."   If you peel Japanese eggplants, especially small ones,  as with Oakland  "when you get there there's no there there."      Annalena sees no need for doing this.    Do cut large tomatoes up, but don't feel required to do so with small ones.  And if you don't have fresh, drain the juice of a can of plum tomatoes (28 ounces, 32 ounces, WOTEVER), and use these.  

So, preheat  your oven, to 425, while you're cutting all these guys up:

Toss them on a baking sheet with olive oil, and salt, and put them in the oven. Go away for 45 minutes to an hour .  Hold off on the chickpeas.  If you are so inclined, stir them once or twice. 

With this many vegetables, you are not going to get browning, and that's ok.  This is not a dish caling for browning. 

After the baking, dump the vegetables in a bowl, and stir in the chickpeas:

Now we have some fun: WE PICK THE ACCESSORIES.  First,  taste this to see if it needs salt, and add it if it does.  You can finish here and now, but.... Annalena suggests you add some red wine vinegar.  And after that, some honey.  If you do not have honey, use sugar, but BUY SOME HONEY!!!!    And taste again.  If you have them, add some golden raisins.  Annalena did.  If you want to, add some green olives. Annalena did not.  And if you want, squeeze the garlic out of the skin if you were too lazy to peel them. Annalena was, so she did. 

It will be wonderful.  And you're done:

Stealing the simple: roasted carrots, pomegranates, pistachios, yogurt

Annalena's army knows she has absolutely no problem with stealing a recipe if she likes it.  And that's what happened here.  She saw a picture that her bud Darren Carbone posted, and she said "Hmmm.  I can do that."  But she also said "I don't want to do it THAT way."  See, Chef Carbone used cardamom yogurt.  Now, Annalena loves cardamom, but this is a tricky spice to pull off.  Let's see a show of hands:  how many like it?  How many hate it?  How many have never heard of it?

Were you watching?  Do you see what Annalena means.  So , we'll get back to how you can play with this in a bit.

The dish also intrigued her because, well.. Annalena CANNOT get on the rainbow carrot bandwagon.  She's tried:  she's really tried.  But give her the orange ones, at least for out of hand eating. Annalena finds the other colors, especially the white and yellow ones, to lack taste. when baked or roasted, however,  the flavors all seem to develop that lovely sweetness you associate with baked fall vegetables. But the color remains.  So while they taste the same, they don't look it.  Let's get to work.

You will need the pips of a large pomegranate.  you know pomegranates, don't you?

Chances are, you've had the juice.  If you haven't had fresh ones, get with the program.  There are a million ways of getting the seeds out.  Maybe the best way is to cut the thing in half, then put each half  in a bowl of water,  one half at a time, upside down and push the seeds out.  The seeds fall to the bottom, the pulp rises, and you can skim the stuff off.  It's easier than it sounds, and just google  "how to seed a pomegranate." 

You will also need about half a cup of pistachios, for two good sized bunches of carrots.  If you like pistachios, use more.  Annalena's  were unsalted, but you can use the salted ones.    

So put your pips (and Gladys) and your nuts to the side, and turn the oven to 500.  While it's heating, trim your carrots, but don't peel them.  Not necessary.  Rub them with olive oil, and sprinkle them with salt, all of this on a baking sheet.

When the oven comes to temperature, put the  baking sheet in the oven, and roast until the carrots are "al dente."  You should be able to insert a knife into the center, but get a little resistance.  

While they're baking, let's turn to the yogurt element.  Fat free Greek yogurt is all the rage these days.  Annalena suggests you use full fat here.  You're sharing the dish with people, so who cares? 

Now, let's turn to the flavorings.  Think about what else you're eating.  What sounds good: TO YOU? You're the chef, so be bold.  Think about what you like and what you have.  Annalena kept on coming back to black pepper and sea salt.  She was right. You may be right with lemon peel, or something else.  Just stir it up in the yogurt, and put that down on a plate.  Then spread out the carrots.  And finally, sprinkle the reserved pips and nuts.  And there you are:

Now that did not sound like a  lot of work, did it?  It's not.  And think about how people are going to react when they have this put in front of them?

Guess you'll just have to make it and find out, huh?  

OMG ragazzi, we're coming up on post 1000. What shall we do?

Stemperata/Stimperata, it's like caponata, but not.

 

Some of you will be surprised to  read this, but Annalena possesses a sense of intellectual curiosity.  It DOES extend beyond cooking, but usually not.   And that is what  produced the dish of which you are reading. 

Annalena scans menus from favorite restaurants frequently, because she needs a life.  Last week, early in the week, she saw a reference on a restaurant menu to "stemperata."  She did not know this word, and via the miracle of google, she learned that this is a SICILIAN (not Italian) dish (this becomes important, ragazzi), that is centered around the Ragusa area.  

Annalena was there last year.  No one served her stemperata (or, as her gal pal Niki, the Sicilian comet) gently corrected her  "STIMPERATA"  (it IS Sicilian:  we go with what the Sicilians say).  

PROBABLY,  Annalena never saw this because she ate in restaurants in Sicily.  As she has written before, Annalena learned that Sicilian cuisine has very much developed into a homestyle cuisine: you cook and eat this at home, and a restaurant cusine:  you eat this in a restaurant.  Why would you eat, in a restaurant, what you would cook and eat at home? 

Sicilians are not the only ones who follow this rule, ragazzi, so keep it in mind when you're travelling:  if there is a dish that your relatives or friends made for you, and you're in the place of origin, you may not find it. 

So, Annalena began reading about "stImperata."  The Sicilian comet advised Annalena that, while you almost always see it with swordfish and chicken today (Annalena would add:  sausage), originally, it was made with rabbit. 

Now, Annalena loves rabbit, and this recipe does use rabbit.  If you want to make it, but bunny gives you the skeeves, use chicken.  

What Annalena also learned, is that like cassoulet, or caponata, or any dishes that are "classics," there is very little agreement on a canonical recipe.  Annalena SWEARS she read over 200 of them, both in Italian and English (good practice for those of you studying languages other than your native tongue by the way), and eventually said  "OK, andiamo  nella cucina e cucinamo"    And so she did.  And this is her version, taken from a pastiche of many. 

Here are your ingredients:

Some of these ingredients were in  EVERY recipe:  the green olives (although "how many" or "how much" is a point of dispute), onion,  celery,  capers, red wine vinegar, raisins.  Annalena added a few things that were in some, but not all of the recipes:  carrots, honey (instead of sugar), pine nuts and  garlic.   Finally, what you do not see, are the rabbit legs marinating in red wine.  This was an outlier, but she found it in a very respected collection of Italian recipes, and hey, if Annalena can use wine, perche non  (why not).  

So, the rabbit legs (or chicken legs), sat in a cup of wine, and a thinly sliced onion, for three hours.  At the end of that:

You don't see much change in the rabbit legs, but do you see the garnet color of the onions?  Keep that in mind as we go forward.  In fact, what the wine is doing is breaking down the protein. Wine is acidic. Acids break down proteins.  This is the same process as in ceviche, or sauerbraten, or many dishes. 

While these were marinating, Annalena prepared her other ingredients:  peel and slice two medium carrots into coins (if you're using them), cut up 3-4 stalks of celery, chop the onion, set your capers to water to remove the salt, and chop up the garlic.   Smash and pit your olives.  The quantity ranged from "15" to " a handful" to "some".  This is family cooking at its best. Annalena had 12 left.  Her hands are big.....  

There are no pictures of the prep because, really, do you want to see Annalena cutting carrots?    Well, when you've finished, and you're ready to cook, first of all, remember to separate the capers from the water. 

Rabbit is very lean, so you'll want about a third of a cup of olive oil here.  If you're using chicken, you may want to cut that back to 1/4 of a cup.  Get the oil hot, and brown whatever you're cooking.  Don't worry about cooking it through.  We'll get back to that:

The rest of this, is ridiculously easy.  Use that oil, which has picked up some of the protein flavor, and add EVERYTHING but the vinegar.  Stir those veggies up, and then, after about 3 minutes, add the meat:

Remember the vinegar?  Well, while the veggies are cooking, get 1/3 of a cup of red wine vinegar, and add about 2-3 tablespoons of sugar OR, if you're being authentic, 2 tablespoons of honey (honey is actually sweeter tasting than white sugar).  Now, if you marinated your protein in the wine, add it.  And then, pour the agrodolce (the vinegar and sweetener, over everything.  Let it cook for five minutes.  You'll get something like this, and the wine will evaporate off:

Now, cover the pot, and lower the heat.  You need to finish cooking the meat.  Rabbit is dense, so you'll need 20 minutes or so.  Chicken, less so.  If you did swordfish, you're gonna be good in 5 (and you better NOT have used red wine).  

When finished:

Ragazzi, don't judge until you try it.  Folks have eaten rabbit for thousands of years, and still do (some day, ask Annalena to tell you her Japanese rabbit story).  If you just can't get your head around it, well, Annalena is ok with you using chicken, although she thinks you should try guinea hen (her sisters know this as faraona).  DO make this. The sweet and sour flavors will remind you of caponata (and sometimes, stimperata is referred to as a relish), and you will add this to your repertoire.  Annalena guarantees it. 

For our musical treat:  while pronouncing "stimperata", Annalena kept on thinking of Linda Ronstadt singing "Desperado," so....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJN7Zy2PzQI

Going vegan: lentil and cauliflower stew, Indian style

Now, do not fret, ragazzi.  Annalena is not going vegan.  Not unless her doctor orders her to do so.  There are times when, totally by chance, or circumstances, she prepares a vegan dish, and somewhere in the middle of it she realizes "OH.  This is vegan."  In fact, she did not make this dish vegan, but she COULD have, and she will tell you how.   It is also gluten free, and more than anything else, it is GOOD, and it admits to a number of variations.

The dish itself is very easy to cook, but Annalena warns you ahead of time:  you do need to spend a bit of time preparing your ingredients.  You will probably need 15-20 minutes to prep everything, but then, you can go and meditate, or do what one does when waiting for the vegetables to meld.

So, let's begin.

What you have here are the vegetables.  In the top figure, you see a head of cauliflower, separated into its florets, and cut small.  You also see a bunch of spinach, chopped.  Here's where your first variation comes in.  If you don't have spinach, use kale.  If you don't have kale, use chard.  If you don't have chard, use broccoli rabb.  All you really need, carissimi, is some dark leafy greens.  And the quantity is up to you.  They will cook down.

And you see, in the lower right hand corner of the top photo, a bag (2 cups) of Indian black lentils.  You may not know this, but you should:  there are hundreds of varieties of lentils out there.  Go to an Indian store and ask for lentils, and see the look you get.  Annalena is no expert, but she CAN tell you that you need a variety that will not cook to a pulp.  That means you avoid the brown lentils you buy in a bag and use to make soup. They are superb for that, just not here.  If you cannot get the black lentils, get French green ones (lentils de Puy), or the Italian ones (casteullucio lentils).  Annalena knows both of those as varieties that hold their shape on cooking. 

The bottom photo shows you a pound of potatoes, cubed, and two large white onions, chopped with less than surgical precision. The potatoes Annalena had, were very thin skinned (like Annalena).  So she didn't peel them.  If you have a thickly skinned variety, do peel them before chopping.  

And to the question :  "how many potatoes are there in a pound?" (Annalena gets asked this more than you might think), you have to imagine her looking over her spectacles with a "REALLY????"  look on her face.  

And here's our second substitution possibility.  At this time of year, you will find sweet potatoes, and you will find winter squash in the market.  You should feel free to substitute either, keeping in mind that you will get a sweeter dish at the end. 

The ingredients you do not see, are a quart of stock (the original recipe calls for vegetable, but you have read Annalena's tirades against that stuff.  She used chicken.  Use what suits you), and the spices.  Annalena was using a product one of her delivery services sent her, called "Tandoori spice mix."   You can buy such product, but if you don't have such, or want to use what you have, look for your South Asian spices:  curry powder, tumeric, asafetida, etc.  If you have them, you know how to use them.  You are going to need 2 tablespoons, so if your spices have different degrees of heat associated with them, keep that in mind as you go along, as well as your audience. 

First, start your potatoes, by putting them into some cold, salted water, and bringing that to a boil.  They'll be ready when you need them.

Now, we cook.  First, two tablespoons of oil in a big pan, and the onions.  Three minutes.  Follow this with the cauliflower.  Another 3 minutes:  

 

Now, add your spices, and stir them in until you can smell them.  This will take, literally, seconds.  

Add the stock and greens:

When this comes to a boil (it won't take long), add the raw lentils:

Stir everything together, and at this point,  drain the potatoes and add them.  Lower the heat, and keep the pot uncovered.  Let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes.  How long, is up to you, and the lentils.  Test one after 20 minutes, and if they're not soft enough for you, cook them some more. 

Again, at this point, you can doodle with the recipe.  When Annalena was eating it, for example, she thought  that some raisins would be good.  You may want to add yogurt if you decide to break the vegan theme.  While this was cooking, Annalena eyed a less than ripe tomato that was going to rot before it ripened.  Since she had her potato water ready, she dropped the tomato in, peeled it, chopped it, and added it to the finished dish:

This was a really delicious, filling lunch.  You'll get about two quarts of finished stew at the end of this, and you can feel absolutely virtuous about sharing it with people.  It DOES kind of seem virtuous doesn't it?  And who among us cannot use some more virtue. 

The thought "going vegan" reminded Annalena of a song from her misspent youth.  So, ragazzi, let's end with The Who, "going mobile:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFAlJOIR74w

Marcella's Ventian cabbage soup

Ragazzi, if you search this blog, you will see that Annalena worships Marcella Hazan.  Her books, very much, defined Annalena's approach to cooking. So Annalena consults these collections from time to time.  In doing so this week, for a reason that reminded Annalena to tell you to do the same, she found a new recipe, using her vegetable of the moment, cabbage.

Cabbage is certainly not glamorous.  Most of us only know it from coleslaw, usually made badly, from cabbage that has been pre-cut, and treated for long term storage. 

LET'S GET AWAY FROM THAT AND USE THIS LOVELY VEGETABLE.  Educate yourself, and see how many different types there are. Try them all.  For example, the great Marcella says you could make this soup with any variety, even red cabbage.  For reasons she cannot explain, Annalena associates savoy cabbage with Venice.  As it is also Annalena's favorite type, she used it.  You may proceed accordingly, or with something else.

Now, what prompted the discovery of this recipe?  Annalena was making risibisi for dinner, and thought it high time to check the recipe again.  See, when you make a recipe over and over again, you may THINK you have it memorized, and maybe you do.  It is, however, a good thing to go back , periodically, and review a favorite recipe to see if you still recall it. Who knows?  You may find a good one. 

Ok, so let's get going.  First of all, as is the case with most Italian recipes, this is the ultimate in simplicity of ingredients.  The main ingredient, is time. 

First, you need to shred about 2 pounds of cabbage in thin shreds.  You should also chop up an onion.  Also chop up a tablespoon of garlic, and have a tablespoon of any vinegar ready.  Annalena always associates cider vinegar with cabbage:

 Now, we're going to start cooking.  This will sound like a lot, and it is, but you need it.  Put half a cup of olive oil in a big soup pot.  Add the onion.  Cook the onion at low heat until it darkens, almost to the point of being black in color:

This is a bit odd, Annalena knows, and this will take some time.  Ironically, the large amount of oil slows down the time to brown.  But you'll get there.  Now, put in the cabbage, all of it, the garlic, and the tablespoon of vinegar.  The cabbage will begin collapsing almost immediately:

This is what happened to Annalena's cabbage, in the 2 minutes she needed to grab her phone:  when she started, the cabbage was over the rim of the pot.  

Now, stir everything together, cover the pot, and put it on low, low LOW heat.  If you have a heat disperser, now is the time to use it.  Use a flame as low as you can get, without turning off the oven.  Cover the pot.  You're going to cook this for... NINETY MINUTES.    And this is what you get a fter 15:

And then an hour:

And after 90 minutes:

Those of you with cooking chops may be thinking French onion soup.  You're on the right track.  Now, you're going to add 2/3 cup of uncooked Italian rice, a quart and a half of stock, and then taste this to check for salt, which it will need.   Let this cook away for twenty minutes or so, and then taste the rice.  Is it cooked to your satisfaction?  If not, cook it some more, but keep in mind that, as the soup cools down, the rice will cook some more. 

What you get, is what we Italians call a "zuppa."

See, ragazzi, Italians distinguish between thick soups (zuppe), and ones with more liquid (ministre).  Indeed, Annalena thinks that "zuppe" should really be translated as "sop," but that's her view, not the prevailing one. 

What you will find is that you needed that vinegar, because this slow cooking brings out the sugar in the cabbage. That is all the brown stuff.  It is, literally , vegetable caramel.  

So go back through this recipe.  Yes, it took us a while to get here, but you did practically nothing, and you have two cups of inexpensive, delicious goodness.  

Annalena thinks herb focaccia here,  but you may have other thoughts.  Do think about making this though. Whatever else happens this winter, cabbage will be available.  You may be very glad to have this recipe.