Pineapple

Last night, sort of drifting in and out of sleep after a really lovely intimate birthday party, I was flipping through the channels, and found a cooking show with one of my favorite ladies: Daisy Martinez. Daisy was talking about a condiment she makes at home, called "vinagre," which uses, among other things, the skin of a pineapple. You don't actually EAT it, but you use it in a concoction with water, vinegar, onions, and spices.

I've never heard of the thing, and I'm "kinda thinking" about making it. What was more interesting to me, however, was her comment about pineapples generally. She said something to the effect of "I think people see these in the grocery store and walk past them because they're frightened of them."

She may very well be right. Many, MANY years ago, some friends went with us to the Bronx Zoo (we didn't have any children to bring with us, but what did it matter? If the thought of four, forty something year old men going to the zoo bothers you, GET OVER IT), and we had brough components of a picnic lunch. One of our components was fruit salad, based on pineapple. Our friends are fairly sophisticated eaters. One even eventually became a personal chef. But they 'fessed up to never using fresh pineapple. The salad was a turning point.

If you don't use pineapple at home, I'll say it for the second time in this blog: GET OVER IT. They are not scary, they're delicious, and they're really good for you (unless you have had an organ transplant, and then you can't eat them because of the enzymes in them).

I think that one of the reasons why people shy away from pineapple is because, when we were younger, buying a ripe pineapple was not an easy thing to do. Pineapples do not ripen once they're picked. They just rot. And transporting pineapple to New York means a long, LONG trip, with a lot of waste and lost. So what we got was unripe, hard, and tasteless. Sort of like.

Oh, never mind. In any event, those days are over. You can buy what are called, generally "golden sweet" pineapples, and they really are golden, and sweet. I really like just eating fresh pineapple, but I want to give you a dessert today that is actually the work of Jacques Pepin. Some years ago, public television presented a series called "Fast food my way," with Jacques Pepin. I was RIVETED by the show, as I watched this true master of elaborate, fancy French cuisine, make the most wonderful dishes in minutes. This was one of them. Now that we're in deep winter, and tropical fruit is all we have, unless you want to eat YET ANOTHER apple, or YET ANOTHER pear, or dried fruit, this can be a real delight.

I have modified his recipe a bit, and I want to explain a few things along the way, based on my cooking of it.

Pepin says that this serves four, and perhaps it does. I find that a big serving, especially if you serve it with ice cream, so I would say eight, or four piggy servings or something like that.

It is, ultimately, a pineapple of simplicity (that's an allusion to an Oscar Wilde play. Some of you will get it).

You need one large golden sweet pineapple. You also need 1/3 cup of brown sugar, dark if you like stronger flavors, light if you don't, and 1/2 cup of fresh orange juice. PREFERABLY you will have blood orange juice, but if you don't, plain old will do. You will also need a couple of tablespoons of unsalted butter.

Get a big, nonstick pan ready. Put the sugar, the butter and the orange juice in it, and mix it to a slurry. Don't start heating it yet. Let's get the pineapple ready.

To prepare the pineapple, make a horizontal cut at the crown, to get the leaves off, and then another one, at the bottom. Then, make vertical cuts with a big knife, getting the skin off. Use the back of your knife, it will make things easier. Then examine the naked pineapple, and cut away any "nasty bits" you see. You will see a core in the center. Make a big cut in the middle of that core, which is not edible, to split the pineapple in half. Then make a vertical cut in each half to have four quarters, and then horizontal cuts in each quarter, to get eight pieces. If you're afraid of people biting into the inedible, hard core, make vertical cuts to remove it, but otherwise, don't. It helps the presentation.

NOW, turn on the heat, and stir the ingredients a bit. When you get a bit of bubbling, put in the pineapple wedges, one cut side down in the sugar mix. Lower the heat to medium, and leave them alone, for about six minutes. Turn one and see if it's browning. If it is, turn them all over to get the other side, and if not, give it a few more minutes. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes to do the first side. When you turn to do the second side, cover the pan, and lower the heat some more, and cook for the same length of time. Take the pineapple slices out, and heat the caramel just a bit longer, until it's nice, thick and stickly. Off the heat, s queeze in a bit more citrus juice to soften it, and pour the whole mess over the pineapple. Then, serve it with vanilla ice cream, or cookies, or creme fraiche, however you like.

Sounds good, doesn't it? Not that rich, huh?

I'm getting braver about Daisy's vinagre. I'll let you know.