Remember your audience, BUT

Now these thoughts are inspired by one of the most fun things I've done in a long time. Our friend Andrew, of "Andrew's balls" in prior blogs, was doing a bingo fundraiser for Guy's chorus. I was asked if I would do the food for the fundraiser.

Would I? Ask me to cook for people? I'm there. And because the whole point of this thing is to sell lots of drinks, I started thinking savory and salty. After all, the evidence shows that when people eat sugar, they stop drinking strong alcohol, while if you give them salt, they keep on drinking. Why do you think bars have peanuts on the counter?

So, since I'm a very big fan of "anything worth doing is worth overdoing," I got started on this project a month ago. And when the smoke cleared, I had ten dishes to serve up at this affair. Yup, ten of them. In retrospect, that was overdoing it. I had never done an affair like this before, and now I learned. In fact, several people told me that at this kind of thing I should "make a lot of a few things." Boy, ain't that the truth? I made 75 meatballs. If I had made 300 meatballs, it would have been too few. My intentions WERE good. These are gay folk remember. So some are not going to eat red meat. Some are not going to eat meat at all. Some are going to be vegans. So I tried to straddle all positions. Meat, like the meatballs. And duck. Chicken sausage. Fish mousse and shrimp. Artichoke dip. Fava beans for the vegans. And so on and so forth.

Know what? I could have made 300 meatballs and everyone would have been happy. Oh yeah, I said that already. Seems that, once you get into a bar, dietary rules go out the window. I guess that makes sense. In an odd kind of way. And had I gotten out of my "box" and thought this through, I might have seen this. But I didn't. We really didn't have that much food left over, but of course, even though no one made weepy eyes, the fact that people didn't get meatballs and might have wanted them, does get to me a bit.

So, yes, remember your audience, but also, remember: if you're not having fun doing it, then don't do it. And if having fun means you make something that no one eats but you, who cares? That's why whenever there are events like this, I make a "bean spread canape.'

Many of us are old enough to remember when we were kids and "dips ruled." No, I don't mean the President, or the governor, I'm talking about when our folks entertained. Remember that ghastly combination of sour cream and onion soup mix? Or was it mushroom? No, mushroom was with thawed frozen spinach and looked like an autopsy of someone's lawn. And let us not forget those combinations of clam and salt, where you had to hunt for the clam, and saw your blood pressure rise 20 points with each cracker.

And then, I remember "Mexican bean dip." You remember that one? Kidney beans, a half teaspoon of hot pepper (let's not be TOO adventurous), grated cheese, sour cream, and avocado. All piled on a toast.

It sounds pretty good doesn't it? Well, I gotta tell you, this is a case of the whole being less than the sum of its parts. Notwithstanding that, there are some good ideas in all of these travesties, and it's the job of we cooks to come up with what's good and run with it. Hence my bean snacks.

I love beans. I have never met one that I don't like. I love the texture, I love the versatility, and I love the fact that they are actually good for you. And they blend to a wonderfully creamy texture. So, I make a lot of combinations of beans and "stuff." For example, my standard one for years was a blend of cooked cannelini beans, sage leaves, garlic, and olive oil. Just piled up on toasted Italian bread, it was sophisticated for a beginning cook. It still is. And I still love it. But I've "branched out." Now, black beans get mixed with hot chilis and lime juice, with cheddar on top. Or lentils get mixed with cumin and a little carrot. And so on and so forth. For this party, I used the last of my frozen fava beans from teh summer. I cooked them until they were really soft (can't give you guidelines. You have to keep testing), and then peeled them (Oi. Did that take a while). Then I combined them with a bit of cooking water, ONE clove of garlic, salt, pepper, and the chopped peel of half a lemon. This all went into the food processor, with me adding olive oil to get a good consistency. (If it looks a little too loose, don't worry. You're gonna refrigerate it). When it was done, I tasted, and corrected the salt. And that's it.

So there's your "paradigm" for these dishes. About two or three cups of cooked beans, your choice. An accent ( a strong one), like sage, or lemon peel, or hot peppers, and liquid, like water and olive oil, or stock and olive oil. You should use a water type thing and an oil, for richness and smoothness. Also salt and pepper. Think about your bread too. French bread works with just about anything. Stronger t asting bread, like pumpernickel, will overpower the lighter tasting combinations, but will work well with something strong. And when you're done, if you want to put a sprinkle of cheese, a dollop of creme fraiche or truffle paste, or a half of a cherry tomato be my guest. It will make it pretty, and make you feel like an artist.

Make more than you think you'll need. Why? So you can eat them shamelessly. We don 't waste food around here