Eating like a child: grilled cheese (for Becky)

In all the years that I have been cooking, I can honestly say that I have cooked for less than 20 "children" in total, and probably as few as ten. (I need to define terms here. By "children," I'm talking about our friends who are under the age of 13). But because I am fascinated by how people develop their taste memories and preferences, I am fascinated by how children eat.

There are scads of articles, books, scholarly notes, and heaven knows what else, about how to get children to develop "proper palates," how to get them to eat "nutritious food," etc, etc, etc. For every nutritionist, for every person concerned with how our children eat (and they are OUR children, every one of us, and there aren't enough people concerned), there is a theory. I've heard "just feed them like everyone else," I've heard "let them pick what they want to eat," I've heard "never add salt," etc, etc, etc.

Know what? I don't have children, but from the limited experience I have feeding them, and hearing people talk, I think I have the answer: there is NO theory, no plan, no overall approach that is going to work. Every child is different. You're going to have to "wing it," just like you do with adults. From what I've seen, children have very extreme reactions to food, and that's simply because they haven't been "trained" not to. Let's face it. There has got to be a time when you put something in your mouth that you found absolutely vile, (maybe a raw oyster? Maybe broccoli? Maybe an overripe pear?), but because "adult behavior" doesn't allow it, you didn't spit it out, gag, and go EWWWWWWWWWW. But you wanted to, didn't you? Honestly, as a cook, there is something very refreshing to an honest response to what I cook. Not everyone is going to like everything I prepare. We ASK adults if they would like something, because we assume they have experience, which is frequently an unfair assumption. With children, we assume the contrary: that they have limited palates, they don't want to try something new, and that's that.

It's all terribly confusing to be honest. But like I say, the honesty of children is refreshing. In fact, honesty about food is always a good thing. Because ultimately, what it lets us realize is what our favorites are, what we could do without if we didn't have it, and what we really and truly don't like.

Thinking about how a kid eats is what inspired me to make the tomato soup I wrote about a few essays ago. My thinking was very simple: I was feeling very fragile, very childlike, and when there isn't anyone there to make you something that tastes good and makes you feel better, you have to do it yourself. Hence, the tomato soup. And a few nights ago, when we had it, I did in fact make something that I had forgotten was such a big favorite. Grilled cheese sandwiches.

Are there children who don't like these? I don't know of any. I don't want to make a universal statement that every child likes them, but most do. So do adults. In fact, most adults REALLY like them. So answer me this: when was the last time you had one? What were you afraid of? The fat? The calories? Hmmmmm. You DO get sandwiches from one of the take out places occasionally , don't you? Get my drift.

At its most basic, a grilled cheese sandwich involves white sandwich bread, that yellow stuff called "American cheese," and that's it. Anything beyond that is embellishment. And honestly, to me, this is one where going beyond the basics is better. You can use any bread you like, you can use any cheese you like, and you can embellish freely.

To make them the way I do, first, turn on your oven to the broiler setting, and then get a pan that is going to be safe at that heat. You will need, of course, two slices of bread per sandwich. I like to use a good, sturdy whole wheat or rye bread. For cheese? I like to use two kinds. One soft one, like mozzarella or fontina, and one stronger, harder one. Good cheddar works well, so does Swiss, combine as you like. And maybe you want to put something in the sandwich with the cheese. Nice, ripe tomato is a classic. So is bacon, or in my case, fried pancetta. So, too, could you use ham, or chicken (these, with a dip, become "croque monsieur or croque madame," I believe), or really just about anything. Here, however is a tip for cooking these. LAYER the sandwich, so that whatever your "additive" is is between two layers of cheese. If you don't do this, and you're using, say, ripe tomato, it will leak out of the bread and destroy your sandwich. It will still taste good, but it will be a mess. So put the first kind of cheese on a slice of bread, then the other stuff, and the second type of cheese on top of that. Then the second slice of bread.

Notice that I didn't put any mustard, or ketchup or anything else like that in the sandwich. I stay away from those wet things, that might make the bread less crisp. If you like them, spread them on the sandwich AFTER it's done.

I melt a tablespoon of butter for each sandwich in my pan. When it begins to bubble, I put the sandwiches in. Usually, I can't get more than three sandwiches in a pan at a time, so if you need to make more than that, do it in stages, and serve half sandwiches, in several waves. I also "help" the sandwiches along by putting a weight on top of them for a few minutes. A full teapot, a couple of cans of tomatoes, or a heavy pan all work. After about three minutes, get a flipper and check the cooked side to see if it's browned slightly. Brown it less than you think you'll need to. Then do the other side, by flipping the sandwiches with a pancake flipper or something like that. I admit, this is not as easy as it sounds. Move carefully, and don't be afraid. It's just a sandwich, and if the fat and fire are hot enough, the cheese will have melted enough to hold it together.
You're going to broil the sandwiches for a couple of minutes. Keep an eye on them. I happen to like mine very dark, almost burned, but that's not how children like them. In fact, you can probably serve them right out of the frying pan to most kids, and put yours under the broiler for a few minutes. You'll get good color.

Protect your hand with a mitt or pot holder, and take out the pan. It's good to let these sit for a few minutes if you can, but I almost never can. Cut them in half with a serrated knife (they're hard to eat as one whole unit), maybe put a pickle or some chips on the plate, and if you have some tomato soup, well, even better.

Make some for your local child. Make some for you. I betcha you'll enjoy the sandwich as much as he or she does, maybe more. And you can laugh at each other as the cheese pulls out of the sandwich, and next time, he or she can help you do it, maybe by layering the cheese and goodies, and maybe by cutting the finished product into pretty pieces.

Becky, I hope someday you read this, and you remember the time you came over. It made me reconsider parenthood.