Now we can begin: the rhubarb has arrived

I've started doing my regular farmer's market runs, because HEAVEN FORFEND that I should miss something new by even a single day.

I know, I need a life. Badly. So, yesterday, I was wandering around, buying a few things and I saw IT. The "holy grail" of early spring: RHUBARB.

I know, I know, I know. This man TRULY needs a life. I was so excited that I had to start chatting with the man selling it. He was singularly unimpressed by my enthusiasm, and looked quite bored with the whole thing. Or maybe he was tired (Deborah Madison, in one of her indispensable books, says that if you want to find the farmers at a farmer's market, look for the people who seem the most tired. This guy had probably been up since 3 in the morning, it was nearly noon, and so the sight of an overweight gay guy having a fit of excitement over rhubarb probably was not enough to float his boats).

Ok, so I finally have the rhubarb home. And I've already given you one thing to do with it. You know, the raw stuff with sugar over ice cream. Well, how about some others? How about some hints on what to buy and how to prepare it? HMMMMMM????

Darlings. Here it comes. As with all produce, you want to buy rhubarb that LOOKS good. That means crispy, fresh looking, like you would choose celery. People will argue over thick shoots or thin ones. I go with thick. For my taste, they're juicier and more useful. Now, early in the season, you don't have to do much except trim them at both ends. GET RID OF ALL LEAVES. This is critical, as the leaves are toxic. If you eat a few, they will not kill you, but you will feel like a cross between giving birth and throwing up your kidneys. Trust me. You trim the edges to make them smooth, and to get rid of any "gunkies" from the plant the stalks were cut from.

Here are a few things I do with them. I LOVE rhubarb puree. To make that, just slice the rhubarb into slices, as if you were putting celery into a salad. Then wash it. Put that in a pot, with the water attached to it, and perhaps a quarter the amount of sugar. In other words, if you have four cups of rhubarb, put in one cup of sugar. Cover the pot, put it over low heat, and let it cook away. After a few minutes, you may want to put in a tablespoon or so of water. Taste it. If it's not sweet enough, add some more sugar, but go easy. It is true that rhubarb is very tart. But you can easily overwhelm it with sugar. You'll need to cook this for about ten minutes and then it will be soft enough to eat, and a lovely soft pink color. If you want a thicker puree, you may want to stir in a tablespoon or so of cornstarch and cook another minute or so. When it "sets up" with the cornstarch, you can use it to fill cupcakes, or a cake, or anything like that. It's good.

Rhubarb takes to many different flavor combinations. I like it with fresh or candied ginger, and you can drop the ginger, in coins, into the pot, or little pieces of candied ginger. If you use the fresh stuff, take it out at the end. Orange is a natural with rhubarb as well, be it orange juice, or slices of orange, or my favorite: the little kumquats that are a feature of the end of citrus season. And need I comment on the classic combination with strawberries? Well, yes, actually I do. Because if you want to make strawberry rhubarb puree, put the strawberries, sliced, into the rhubarb AFTER it's cooked. STrawberries are much more delicate, their flavor is more fleeting, and if you cook them for the same length of time, you won't have any strawberry flavor. They will soften in the hot rhubarb and be fine.

Another wonderful way of cooking rhubarb, which maintains its structure, is to bake it. Here, you do just what I suggested for stovetop cooking, but bake at 350 for about 30 minutes, and cut it into chunks. Test it by sticking a fork into a slice of the stuff. When it's soft and yielding to the fork, it's ready. Again, you can put slices of citrus into the baking dish with it, or add orange juice, and it will be lovely. I would suggest, if you use juice, to do "half and half," i.e., bake it with half the juice and finish it with the rest. I'm not giving quantities because I want you to make it to taste. And as with strawberries, put the berries in at the end, sliced, and cover the baking dish and let it cook em down a bit.

I also love this rhubarb savory that I THINK I invented. I take a half pound of rhubarb and I dice it. I put it aside while I dice one onion, slice a few coins of ginger, a clove of garlic or two, and get a hot pepper. I fry the onions in a little vegetable oil, with the ginger. Then I add the garlic, the hot pepper, and the rhubarb and cook it until the rhubarb is just breaking down. When that happens, I season it with salt and pepper and BAM - I have savory rhubarb chutney.

Rhubarb freezes exceptionally well, and since you're going to bake it or otherwise cook it until it breaks down to soft puree, the thawing process is not a problem.

Rhubarb is one of those fleeting beauties. As the weather gets warmer, the stalks get tougher, and it becomes more challenging to use it. And of course, after it being the only thing to eat in the fruit department for several weeks, it gets neglected as the earliest fruits come in. Give it a chance. Try it. I guarantee, you'll become a fan