WHY IS HE STILL SINGLE????

C'mon. Everyone of you who reads this blog has got AT LEAST one friend you say this about. Maybe more. And before you think "hmmm. Let me bring them all together in one place, because since I like them all, of course they'll hit it off, get hitched, and live happily ever after, " DONT. You will regret this. Trust me on this one. AND DONT ASK.

So, one of my friends in this category is Louie. He may be the newest one. I met him through Laura, the PLT lady who you read about below. Laura brought Louie with a bunch of people to a dinner I was cooking, which she won at auction. With the exception of My Huckleberry Friend, I did not know ANY of the five people she brought with her. How often do you meet four new people, like them all, spend most of the night drinking and wish you were doing it again the next morning? See what I mean? Well, don't tell any of the other people, but louie was my favorite of the bunch. I could have spent the whole night, and probably the rest of the week talking to him. We were sitting there, singing Tracey Ullman songs, telling jokes, egging each other on to insult everyone else at the table, and he looked good too.

SO WHY IS HE STILL SINGLE?

When confronted with this situation I always conclude one thing: He can't cook. I mean, let's face it. As Harvey Fierstein wrote "A thing of beauty is a joy until the morning," and as Judge Judy said "beauty is temporary, dumb is forever." So, you're looking for something more than the looks - which Louie has. (OK, OK. I don't know about THAT. I'll ask him if you want). But he's smart, and funny. He dresses well. He can talk. It's gotta be the cooking. No question about it.

So these next recipes are Annalena's guaranteed seduction meals. Both involve pasta, even though pasta seems to be the 'anti seduction' food , since when it gets hot, it goes from hard to soft (sorry. Louie is gonna read this and he needs to be amused). But when someone is eating pasta, you can get a very good idea of, ahem, how he'll behave in "other ways." Know what I'm saying?

The first is a tried and true Italian seduction recipe. Folks, trust me. The difference between "holding his hands and falling into his arms" is NOT skin lotion. It's pasta all'olio. Ask any Roman. This is the dish that they teach women to make "when you get home at midnight and need something quick before..." Yes, it's got lots of garlic in it, but you'll both be eating it. It's vegetarian, if you have to worry about that angle, and it's easy.

Bring a pot of water to a boil and add salt when it comes to the boil. Add spaghetti. For this dish, it's ALWAYS spaghetti. Don't know why, but it doesn't taste right with other shapes. I've tried. While you're waiting for the water to come to a boil, pour about 1/3 cup of your bestest olive oil into a small pot and add four or five cloves of peeled garlic. Start heating it slowly, and when the garlic colors gold, pull them out. When the pasta is finished cooking to aldente, drain it, put it back in the pot, with the flame on, and pour the flavored olive oil over it, add a little salt and pepper, and you are done.

Sometimes, folks will add anchovies to this, but , to quote my sister, YUCH.

Ok, so now you have him interested. He's coming over for dinner. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Annalena knows the answer to this and many other questions. Pay attention Louie. Laura did this, you can too.

Again, we rely on pasta, that wonder food. And this time you can move away from spaghetti, but stick to the long ones.

In a food processor, or a blender, whirl two pint containers of cherry tomatoes until they're broken up. Add them to a pan with olive oil, and salt them. Bring a pot of water to a boil while this is happening. When the tomatoes begin to bubble a little, add two medium sized flounder filets (I'd say a total of about six ounces total), and cook them gently. Turn them in the tomatoes. They will break apart, which is what you want. You'll have nice big flakes of fish mixed in with your tomatoes, which you can then season as you like (if it's not tomato season, do this with a drained 14 ounce can of tomatoes. ). Drain your pasta, and keep a half cup of the cooking liquid. Toss everything together into a pot, toss it together, season it with salt and pepper. And there you go.

In both of these dishes, never never never use cheese.

And if , after these two dishes, he doesn't stick around, he wasn't worth it. Again, trust Annalena on this one..